


Not Yet, But I'm Getting There

by phantisma



Series: Keeper Verse [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-07
Updated: 2007-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:32:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keeper!Verse, in the chronology, Dana is just shy of three, Sam has been living with Dean and Dana for about two years, and is still trying to find his way.  Okay, that's the set up.  This is the fic where John discovers that the boys are <i>together</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Yet, But I'm Getting There

“Is it this one?” John asked, holding up a book with a black binding.

Sam looked up, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Yeah, the hierarchy’s in there.”

John flipped it open and ruffled the pages. “It’s blank.”

Sam frowned. “Which box was that in?”

“I don’t know. It was in this stack over here.”

“Dean is going to blow a gasket when he sees this mess.”

John chuckled.

“What?”

“You, worrying about the mess. Dean knows how important this is.”

Sam scowled and started gathering books. “Not the point.”

“Wait. Are you mad?”

Sam grabbed the book from his hands. “No.”

“Sam.”

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

John’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Maybe we should.”

Sam was nearly vibrating under his hand. It never failed to amaze him how quickly his youngest son could change from open and jovial to furious. “If I said something…”

Sam shook his head. “Isn’t you, okay?”

John crossed his arms, annoyed now himself. “Every time we get started with these books, you get like this. We could have had them catalogued and organized by now if you would just talk to me about it.”

Sam sighed and sat down slowly. “Memories. Lots of memories.” He held up the book with the blank pages. He murmured in Latin and breathed over the spine, then opened it, holding it up for John to see. “I’ll teach you the incantation.”

“That’s called deflecting.” John said, coming around the stack of books to sit next to Sam on the couch. “You know I only want to help.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Just don’t see much use in dwelling on stuff that doesn’t help.”

“But you can’t hide from it either.”

Sam was uncomfortable, fidgeting. “Why don’t we see if we can get them sorted by subject matter this time, and when I come back from Colorado we can pick a subject and go from there?”

Sam nodded and they sorted in silence for a few minutes. When Sam spoke next, his voice was tense, his tone strained. “They didn’t tolerate stuff like this. Messes.”

“The people who raised you.” John said, understanding.

Sam didn’t look at him. “You aren’t anything like them.”

“I’m glad.”

“You confuse me.” Sam admitted after another few moments of silence.

“How?”

“I never know what to expect. I like things that are…predictable.”

John smiled warmly. “I’m plenty predictable Sam.” He reached over the books to touch his hand. “You just need to get to know me better.”

Sam looked at him and held the gaze for a minute before going back to his sorting. “That’s what Dean told me.”

“Why don’t you come with me to Colorado?”

Sam sat back and looked at him like he was crazy. “Me? You’ve never asked me to hunt with you.” Not since the last time, when Sam had fallen apart before they could leave.

“Maybe it’s time.”

Sam regarded him for a minute and John marveled at how carefully he considered everything he did. The Sam that Dean had described was impulsive when they first met. This Sam had changed so much in the nearly two and a half years he’d been with them. “I’ll have to make sure it’s okay with Dean.”

“Make sure what’s okay?” Dean asked as he came in the front door.

“I asked Sam to come with me to Colorado.” John said, standing.

Dean frowned a little. “Thought you said it was just a routine thing.”

“Should be. Your brother and I need some time together.”

Dean nodded. “I can get Missouri to help with Dana.” He looked to Sam, his eyes asked a question.

As if responding to someone mentioning her name, Dana toddled out of her room, her thumb in her mouth, her face red. Sam turned before she even got into the living room, crossing to her side and picking her up. He nuzzled her and smiled at Dean. “She’s upset…had an accident. I’ve got this one.”

Dean waited until he was out of the room before turning to his father. “You think you can handle three days with him, alone?”

“I’m a big boy Dean.”

“I mean, without starting a fight…or triggering him.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

Dean didn’t look convinced. “What brought this on?”

John went back to sorting books. “His mood. He got cranky and I called him on it. He didn’t shut down completely. Told me I confuse him.”

Dean smiled and moved toward the kitchen of the apartment to start dinner. “Yeah, he says that about you a lot.”

“I figured some time together alone together could help.”

“Dada!” Dana came running out as fast as her tiny feet would bring her, with Sam loping along behind her.

Dean turned to catch her, lifting her easily for wet, sloppy kisses all over her face. “SamSam.” She pointed at Sam and he chuckled.

“She wants me to read to her from one of the books.” Sam said.

Dean frowned. “Big books are for big people. Little books are for Dana-people.”

“Dada, SamSam ‘ead.”

“I told her I’d read to her before bed, but she’s not listening.” Sam said, moving back into the living room to help John with the books.

“Kinda like someone else I know?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Funny.” Sam said.

“Dada!” Dana’s hands were on his face, demanding his attention. “SamSam ‘ead me.”

“SamSam’s busy, baby. Help Dada make dinner?”

Her eyes were big. “Spetti?”

“Spetti it is.” Dean conceded, though he’d planned something else entirely. “Dad, you staying?”

John grunted something that sounded vaguely like yes, his head bent over some book with Sam. “Papa stays.” Dean said to Dana, who clapped her hands in response.

 

Two hours later the books were repacked in something closer to order than they’d been in for the last two years, dinner had been served, eaten and cleaned up after and Dana finally had Sam on the couch with a book. John and Dean watched from the kitchen table, listening as Sam’s voice rose and fell with the words and Dana “oohed” in all the right places.

“He’s good with her.” John said softly. “Better than I would ever have imagined.”

“He’s come a long way.” Dean admitted. Considering where he’d started, he’d come farther than anyone might have given him credit for if they didn’t know. “So, when you two taking off?”

“Friday. Told Amos we’d be there by Friday night.”

“Poltergeist?”

“Think so.”

Dean nodded, his eyes on Sam, picking Dana up. She curled her hands in his hair as she kissed him with “Tanks SamSam.”

“Okay, you monster. Time for bed.” Dean said, standing up.

“Wan Papa!” Dana said and it was John’s turn to chuckle.

“Want Papa, eh?” John asked, taking her from Sam. “And what is it you want from Papa?”

“Back. Papa back.” She was already climbing up his chest, throwing a leg over his shoulder to try to get onto his back by herself.

“Easy, Dana…easy.” Dean tried to resist reaching for her as his father’s arms swung around his back to catch her.

“Okay, one pony express ride to bed…hold on!” John trotted around the table with Dana clinging to his back, tiny fists balled up in his shirt as she squealed.

When he had disappeared into her room, Dean snagged Sam’s front pocket with two fingers, tugging him closer. “You okay with this?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah.” His kiss was quick, bending to touch Dean’s lips with his own.

Dean moaned with a promise of more once their father was gone. John re-emerged moments later. “She’s down, but I don’t know that she’ll stay down.”

“I’ll check on her in a minute.” Dean said. “You coming in to the garage tomorrow?”

John nodded. “We still interviewing?”

“Got two more guys coming in tomorrow afternoon.”

“Good. I should head home. I told the landlady I’d look at that broken railing before the weekend.” John headed for the door. “Pack light, Sam…we should be in and out on this one. Have Dean show you a standard kit for this kind of hunt.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

When the door closed behind him, Sam snaked a hand around Dean’s waist and pulled him in close for a real kiss. “Missed you.” Sam whispered as Dean hitched his hip up to sit on the table, spreading his legs and drawing Sam in between them.

“Yeah?” Dean breathed, his hands up under Sam’s shirt, tweaking both nipples to get that gasp he loved. “How much?”

“Woke up hard…and you were gone…wanted to feel you.” Sam’s lips nipped at his chin, all the way back to his ear, where he added just a touch of teeth. “Wanted to have your mouth on me…”Sam whispered into his ear, and Dean went hard as Sam’s hand slid into his jeans.

Dean hissed as Sam pulled up, his teeth worrying a spot high on Dean’s neck. White noise roared in his head as he closed his eyes and tossed his head back, exposing his neck to Sam’s lips and tongue and teeth. “Harder, baby…”

 

John got as far as his truck before he realized he’d left his jacket and journal. He debated just calling Dean and asking him to bring them to the garage in the morning, but decided to go back instead.

He opened the door without knocking, stopping a half step into the room, his eyes riveted on Sam’s back. On Sam, on Dean with his head back, Sam’s lips on his throat. He couldn’t see Sam’s hands, but from the sounds coming from Dean’s throat he was pretty sure where they were and what they were doing.

Dean’s head was moving, and John stepped back out into the hallway, pulling the door closed as silently as he could. He stood in the hallway, breathing and trying to rationalize what he saw…but there was nothing else it could be other than what it was.

John closed his eyes. They had never said it was over. He’d assumed that it had ended when Sam released the compulsion. He rolled his eyes. He should know better than to assume anything where that man was concerned.

He walked away, back toward the stairs, already chastising himself. Not a half hour before he was trying to coax Sam into more of a father/son relationship and in a split second he was back to calling him “that man”.

He couldn’t blame Dean. He could, but really Sam was the one who used sex to snare Dean. And sure, that didn’t look like Dean was anything other than a willing participant, but damn it, they were brothers. It might have been one thing when they didn’t know…but now…now…almost two and a half years later…they both knew better.

He stood there at the stairs, vacillating. Finally, he turned and stomped back to the apartment door, making enough noise that he knew they would hear him. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door before opening it. Dean was still sitting on the table, but Sam was a good three steps away when John looked. “Forgot my jacket,” he mumbled, reaching for it and his journal.

Sam was looking at the tile on the floor, but his head popped up as John’s eyes touched on him. “Shit.” He looked at Dean as John slipped out the door. “He saw. He’s furious.”

Dean jumped off the table and ran out into the hall. “Dad!”

John stopped at the stairs again, looking over his shoulder at Dean. “Not now, Dean.”

Dean followed him anyway. “No, I think now is good,” he insisted, following him down the stairs.

“You’re a grown man, what you do in the privacy of your home is your business.”

“Dad, please.”

John stopped with his key in the door of the truck. “Tell me that it’s you though, Dean? It’s not him working you? No more magic?”

Dean shoved his hands in his pocket. “No magic. Just the two of us.” He met John’s eyes. “I love him.”

“You should he’s your—“ John dropped his voice, moving so his face was next to Dean’s. “He’s your brother. You should love him. Not…like that.”

Dean shrugged. “I’ve been in love with him since the first time I met him, Dad. Finding out we share blood didn’t change that.”

“Do I have to remind you of the things he’s done…to this family?”

“He was right, you are furious.” Dean smirked a little. “Which is it, Dad? Is he family, or not? I’m not really clear on where you stand.”

“Dean.” His voice was threatening and he glowered over his son. “I don’t like it. It isn’t normal. What’s that little girl going to think?”

“That her daddy loves her and so does her uncle SamSam and so does her Papa.” Dean said quietly. “You said it yourself, he’s changed. He’s a different man.”

“Not different enough that I want you and him….together…like that.”

Dean crossed his arms, his eyes focused on his father’s shoulder. “It isn’t up to you.”

“I’m going home. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Yeah, good idea. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

 

Sam prowled the kitchen waiting for Dean. They were careless. No one was supposed to know. No one. Sloppy. Should have locked the door.

Dean came in and locked the door, turning off the front lights before crossing to where Sam was pacing. Sam stopped, hands on his hips. “Well?”

Dean chuckled. “You were right, he’s pretty upset.”

“I’m sorry Dean. We should have…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe he’s right.”

“What?” Dean shook his head. “No you don’t. I’m not going through this again.” Dean caught him around the waist and pulled him closer. “You know, I don’t care what anyone thinks, not even him. I want you here. I want you like this.” He dragged Sam down into a kiss, feeling Sam soften and give in. “I want you.” Dean whispered over Sam’s lips. “Got it?”

Sam nodded, capturing Dean’s lips with his own. “Want you too…you taste like spetti.” Sam murmured and Dean grinned.

“That shouldn’t make me want to suck you so hard you blow.” Dean said as his hands unbuttoning Sam’s jeans. Sam hissed and Dean maneuvered him so that he could lean against the table while Dean slid down his long body. “Still want my mouth on you?”

“God yes, Dean.” Sam’s hands were in his hair pulling him in, even as Dean pulled the chair in front of Sam with one hand and worked his cock free with the other.

Dean grinned as he lapped over the head and Sam’s cock swelled in his hand. “Mmmm…baby…so good.” He had to adjust his own cock, trapped in his jeans, as he sat, legs spread wide, his mouth at the perfect height to take Sam into his mouth.

Sam moaned as Dean took him deep, sucking his way back up, his tongue cupped along the underside. His cock was thick and heavy, and Dean’s lips slid easily over the spit-slick flesh, down until the head was at the back of his throat, and Sam’s hands fisted in his hair holding him there until Dean started to see stars, then pulling him off again. “Fuck Dean…wanna put it inside you.” Sam pulled him up to kiss him, savage teeth and tongue over lips and chin…”Wanna fuck you Dean…here…right here…on the table…”

Sam’s hands beat Dean’s to his belt, and while Sam sucked at a tender spot on Dean’s neck he pulled Dean’s jeans down in the back, just enough to expose his ass, but leave his cock still bound in denim, his hands sliding over skin and already pressing fingers against his opening.

Dean pushed back against him. “Sam…yes…like that…” One long finger was inside him, massaging him open. “More…more, baby…”

Sam’s cock was dribbling as he turned them, pressing Dean’s hands against the table. “Don’t move….” He could feel Sam behind him, his cock against his thigh.

“Sam…”

Sam slapped his ass lightly. “Patience.”

His finger was back, joined by a second…working inside him and Dean bent forward, relaxing onto them. Dean moaned when they left him, but it was only a moment and he felt Sam…thicker than fingers, pressing in…deep, slow. He moaned again. Sam took his time, knowing Dean expected him to drive into him, hard and fast and moving slow instead, inching into him until Dean was pounding on the table in frustration.

“Shh…you’ll wake Dana.” Sam whispered, one hand sliding over Dean’s back, along the cotton of his shirt. “Like it when it makes you crazy…so hot…all bent over begging me for it.”

“God…Sam…” He was hard, his cock still trapped in his jeans and he wanted to touch it, wanted to feel Sam’s hands on it.

Sam pulled slowly back out before he’s fully seated himself inside Dean, moving at the same pace and Dean thought he might just come in his pants before Sam ever got all the way inside. “Sam…please…”

“Wanna watch you take it all Dean…so fucking hot…” He was pushing in again and Dean’s vision swam. He bent forward, his head against the table. He felt ridiculously exposed, considering that he was still completely dressed…and so was Sam…and fuck! Sam pressed against his prostate and Dean bucked under him, trying to push back, get Sam as deep as he could go. Sam chuckled, and pulled back out.

“Come on Sam….fuck me…please….just…”

Sam shoved inside him then, one hard stroke burying himself deep and Dean went still under him, his cock spewing into his jeans without ever getting touched. His mouth worked against the table, sounds coming from him that were more like mewls from a kitten. Just as his Dean’s eyes registered more than the white out of his orgasm, Sam moved, out and back in…fast, hard and Dean was amazed to find his cock sputtering still more. “Sam…god…”

His pace was punishing then, pistoning in and out of Dean to the sound of grunts and moans and Dean begging. He couldn’t stop himself, his mouth just kept moving…an endless stream of _morepleasehardermoreplease_ and obscenities as his over sensitive cock moved against the wet denim that held it prisoner, trying to rally for more already.

Sam’s rhythm stuttered and Dean pressed back against him as he came, groaning out as his cocked filled Dean and they collapsed forward together. “You okay?” Sam asked when his breathing was almost back to normal. Dean nodded and pushed up. Sam backed off, slipping out of Dean with a pop that made him smile.

Dean pulled at his jeans, wiping at the wetness of his crotch before Sam caught his hands and pulled them away. “You came in your jeans…what are you? Fourteen?”

Dean kissed him. “I guess I must be. You make me crazy, you know that?”

“That’s what little brother’s are for.” Sam said, before looking down the hallway. “She’s awake.” He tucked himself back into his jeans. “Go shower. I’ll get her back to sleep.”

Sam kissed his forehead, then went to cajole Dana to sleep. Dean sighed and shook his head. Maybe it wasn’t normal…but then, Dean had gotten pretty used to stuff that wasn’t normal as part of his life. His father would too.

 

Friday rolled around and Sam packed a change of clothes and a small weapons duffle with consecrated iron rounds, rock salt and holy water, plus a few other items that he’d found came in handy when facing off against unknown spiritual entities and he waited.

He wasn’t even entirely sure John would want him along now. He hadn’t seen him or spoken to him since, though Dean had said things were okay. John Winchester was not a happy man, and Sam didn’t need any of his gifts to know that. It was written over every line of his body as his truck pulled to a stop in front of the apartment. “Get in if you’re coming with me.”

Sam nodded and picked up his bag. The first few minutes were tense silence. John scowled at the road and Sam tried to find a comfortable position.

“I don’t like it.” John said finally as they pulled out past the city limits. “I don’t. But, Dean’s made it clear that it’s his choice, and I don’t get a say.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I think it’s wrong, and not just because you’re my sons.”

Sam didn’t know if what he had to say would ease things or make them worse, so he stayed quiet for a long time. As John eased them on to the interstate and headed them west, Sam mustered up the nerve. “I want you to know that I love him.” Sam said softly. “Both of them. I—“ He fidgeted a little, half expecting that dark gaze to burn him where he sat, but John kept his eyes on the road. “I love him.”

After a long silence, John seemed to actually soften, the tension in his body lessening. “I know you do, Son. I see it whenever you’re together.”

“I know I’m not the son you expected.” Sam said a while later. “And I’m not what you wanted for Dean.”

“It isn’t that, Sam.” John shook his head. “I’m proud of the man you’re becoming…after the life you’ve had…I just…life is hard, you know? It’s hard enough to be different without making it worse.” He moved them around a tractor trailer and shook his head. “Maybe we should think about moving out of Kansas.”

Sam turned to look at him, frowning. “What?”

“If you two are going to be…together…Kansas isn’t exactly the easiest place in the world.”

“You two are just getting the garage on its feet.” Sam sputtered, trying to figure out where the shift in the conversation was going to go.

“I’m thinking long term, here Sam. Dana will go to school in a few years. She’s not going to have any peers here in Kansas with two fathers. And there’s the matter of your last name. Gonna raise a lot of questions.”

“Can we go back to the part where you tell me how you don’t like it?” Sam asked. “You’re starting to freak me out.”

“Good. Because you need to think about these things. Before you drag Dean and Dana into something you’re not ready for.”

Sam was quiet for a bit, thinking about that. “I don’t think we ever talked about…stuff like that. We’ve just been reacting. Never really had the freedom to plan stuff…never really thought much further ahead than the next few weeks.”

“Gay men still get beat up around these parts, Sam. Even more so if anyone ever found out you were brothers.”

Sam nodded and stared out his window. He had been selfish, hoarding the first good thing to come into his life, no matter what it did to those around him. John was right about that. If this was what they wanted, if they were going to keep this, some things would need to be changed.

 

The poltergeist turned out to be faulty electrical wiring combined with a house built on a convergence of lay lines, the combination of which led to all manner of strange activity. A couple of hours of work and they were back on the road.

As they stopped in front of the apartment, Sam stuck his hand out. “I wanted to say thank you.”

John looked at the hand, and up at Sam. “For?”

“You made me think, made me consider…I’m going to talk to Dean and we’ll work stuff out. Okay?”

John nodded and reached for Sam’s hand, using it to pull him closer to hug him. “Not yet, but I’m getting there.”

“Good.” Sam said as he got out of the truck. “Cause I’m not going anywhere.”

John nodded and Sam watched him pull away, looking up at the window where he knew Dean had been standing only a minute before. He was waiting at the top of the stairs. “How’d it go?”

Sam smiled. “No poltergeist. I think he was disappointed. Wanted to show me a good time.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Not what I meant.”

Sam nodded. “I know. We talked.” He moved past him into the apartment.

“And?”

“And what? He’s your father. He’s worried about you.”

“He’s your father too.”

Sam nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “Thus his problem with us as an us.” He sighed. “He has some valid concerns that we need to address.”

“Such as?”

“Such as introducing ourselves to folks with the same last name. I’m gonna have to come up with something, build up an identity.”

“You’ll always be a Winchester, Sammy.” Dean said, pulling him closer to steal a kiss.

“Yeah…but only you and Dad will ever know. We have to be careful. We have to consider Dana…how this will affect her.”

“Right now, I’m considering that Dana is with Missouri for the night…and you’re home…and there’s something we haven’t done since…forever.” Dean kissed over Sam’s cheeks and chin, distracting him from thoughts of anything other than Dean.

“Yeah? What?”

Dean pulled him down into a kiss, deep and filled with longing. “I seem to recall a night when you got me off so many times I couldn’t even stay awake for the last one…and I’ve never gotten to return the favor.” Dean led them down the hall to the bedroom where candles lit the room in a soft glow and the bedside table was filled with lube and toys. “You up?” Dean asked, his eyebrow raising.

Sam closed his eyes, “Not yet, but I’m getting there.”


End file.
